“Don’t flatter yourselves Poole, we only scrap with teams in a ten mile radius. If this game was against Kangaroos, shit would go down”

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Happy New Year everyone! For Magpies fans all over the world it’s fair to say that 2014 had been on paper THE worst year in the clubs history. Ok… maybe not history, but in my lifetime anyway.

So what better way to kick off 2015 than a local “derby,” to the side sitting on the top of the league, entertaining us – a side that has lost their last million games on the bounce.

On paper, this game looks like a daunting task. But let’s put things in to perspective shall we. Let’s think about the opposition here: Poole Town.

Yep, Poole-fucking-Town.  A suburb situated on the cusp of Dorset/Hampshire that still hasn’t made any cultural strides since the mid-seventies. A town, which hosts a club that I’ve never seen us play competitively in my 20 years of supporting Dorch and haven‘t finished above us in ANY league for near-on 40 years.  A club whose ‘ground’ (to quote one of our players) ”will always be just a school field”.

It‘s a fixture that we’d all regularly sneak in to by jumping over the white picket fence during our annual pre-season helps outs down there, as only a couple of years back. With BOYB cans off course!

It’s amazing how times change though eh?!

But here we were and somehow we were buzzing for what location depicts as apparently a local derby.

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(Welchy, fuming that he actually had to pay to get in to Poole Town for once!)

So the day/year began. Having nursed our hangovers (or lack of), Stevie Hill, Fugey, Welchy, Luke and I, reluctantly boarded the midday train from Dorchester South on what was a drizzly New Year’s Day. The half hour journey to Poole consisted of a round of ciders (courtesy of Fuge) Luke reminiscing [all too loudly] about a certain bar incident that occurred on Boxing Day and some poor lad looking a bit worse for wear on the table next to us. Once we got into suburban Bournemouth (Poole) we stopped off at local drinking hotspot, The George.

Literally the first pub we came across, where we turned up to find Guyer and a group of older Dorchies. Vossy joined us shortly after, having made the journey down from London on his own, only to return the same day due to work. Yes he is an extremely brave man.  Local refereeing legend ‘Deadly’ joined us and a few rounds later we collectively headed on to the Tatnam Stadium (sic) in what promised to be a fine example of local non-league football.

As Poole like to think of themselves as big boys now, there was sadly no free sneaking into the ground, and they have even built a turnstile that resembled a wooden shed! Lardy-dar!

The game itself began in a lively fashion, winning a free kick inside the first 30 seconds, which caused an early opportunity for the Magpies. Poole created a decent spell of pressure in the first half, which included a disallowed goal after a blatant handball by Marvin Brooks. The best chance of the half fell to us though, when a Nathan Walker header cannoned off the crossbar. We went in at half time goalless, which we were more than happy with, given our pre-match expectations of the match.

In the second half we grew into the game and more than matched Poole, despite the lack of clear-cut chances.  Unlike a lot of performances in recent weeks, our lads put in a battling performance, got stuck in and at times looked dangerous going forward. Matt Oldring took one for the team picking up 2 yellow cards in the dying moments –  which will sadly suspend him for one game – but the lads held on, and as the full time whistle blew, our players were deservedly applauded off the pitch by the 100 or so travelling supporters from the county town in a sign of appreciation of their battling attitude. Definitely not the “cup final“ celebrations that some Poole fans were, rather bizarrely, claiming.

A point gained but its imperative we pick up wins in our next 2 games. We then returned to The George to catch the Spurs vs Chelsea game. With me having a soft spot for The Blues (alright alright!) it is a common theme that one of Chelsea and Dorch concedes a shed load and another keeps a clean sheet, so a new year means new traditions with Spurs winning 5-3 and the Magpies drawing a 0-0.

We hung around in that pub for far longer than necessary, mind.  Vossy made the lonely journey back to London. Conversations escalated into discussing football autobiographies with Steve of course having the most in-depth non-fictional knowledge of footballing superstars such as Lee Mcculloch and Shaun Goater, to name a few. If only he told us this two weeks earlier to put on our Christmas wish list!

After a horribly cold, wet and windy brief walk to the station, we jumped on the train and continued with a few more rounds in the Brewhouse and Kitchen back in Dorch, where we discussed the depressing matters on and off the pitch at DTFC and a cunning plan to get Jem back at the club.

(Keep) Watch(ing) this space!

#BringJemHome.

(And no, we are still not telling you what the Germany flag is for. Work it out!)

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(“Steve, show us how you are going to bite your lip on your thoughts of Kemp and focus on supporting the players”

One response to ““Don’t flatter yourselves Poole, we only scrap with teams in a ten mile radius. If this game was against Kangaroos, shit would go down””

  1. […] may remember the German flag hung from the Dorchester end during a rather drab Dorset derby on New Year’s Day 2015, and shortly after the plea from […]

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