It has been a depressing few weeks following Dorch. Winless in 10 games, into the relegation places, performances abject, results worse. There were plans to have blogs on the Poole, Beaconsfield and Hayes games, but the adage of if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all combined with utter ambivalence felt at full-time wisely prevented any words being written. And yet, after all that, we produce a performance and get a result like yesterday and all of a sudden, things don’t seem as bad. This was as good a performance as we have produced in months and we were good value for the three points, and vital points they are as we enter a hugely important run of games with fixtures against the other three members of the bottom four in the coming weeks.
This is a time of year I always trek back home for family reasons and football is usually on the agenda, but what is not always part of the normal pre-match routine is the Dorchester parkrun. But these aren’t normal times, so I met with El Generale and his motorcade, fresh from a gym session with former Dorch keeper Regan Coward, and we headed to the wonderfully named ‘Great Field’ at Poundbury for a brisk(ish) 5km. In between the puffing and wheezing of two blokes who aren’t as fit as they should be, we discussed where things have gone wrong at the club and our current predicament. But with the distance being only 5km rather than 50km, we weren’t able to produce a full summary of events. One thing that was agreed was this; we can’t lose today and we need a 4-point minimum from Swindon and Merthyr. He’d been to the Hartley Wintney game and was pretty scathing about that, and I’d been to both Beaconsfield and Hayes, so between us, our optimism wasn’t exactly high. I was able to furnish El Gen an early 90’s DTFC scarf like the one I used to have as a junior magpie, so he’d have that from the day if nothing more.
Steve and I headed our separate ways shortly after, me into town to meet JW for a no-frills breakfast at Spoons, and Steve to Dean Court for an afternoon at the Cherries. As I tucked into my healthy and nourishing post-run food of a large breakfast (no mushrooms, add black pudding) Welchy and I chatted the usual nonsense and tried to second guess what we’d see come three o’clock. This was JW’s first game since the woeful experience that was a 4-1 loss against Poole at home just after Christmas. It was a game which saw more action on the terraces than in Poole’s penalty area as the youthful elements of both fanbases engaged in what appeared to be synchronised windmilling at no one in particular, with lots of swearing and shouting. It was embarrassing to watch and the fans’ behaviour wasn’t great either…
Welchy had previously said he’d pay his £30 to become a club owner/member if we won three games in a row and that £30 is still looking pretty safe, but there was some optimism that we could pick up a result against Swindon. Despite the long winless run, the law of averages says we have to win again sooner or later, and this run of games to come (Swindon, Merthyr, Kings Langley and Wimborne in the next handful of games) seems as good a place as any for our luck to change, especially at home. It was maybe more in hope than expectation, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally, so we saw no reason why we couldn’t find that elusive nut today. A decision was made to have a swift pint at the excellent Convivial Rabbit micropub before we planned to watch the early kick-off, but a quick check of the score told us that Leeds had waved the white flag in that one inside half an hour, so it was a second pint of Copper St’s delightful ‘Scramasax’ before we headed to towards Fortress Avenue.
We arrived to find a very empty bar despite the fact it was around half two, and with the rugby on in the background we were soon joined by the best set of sideburns this side of Elvis in Alan Luther. The Luth is one of a few Dorch fans who claim to be at least part Scottish, with these persons having varying claims as to why. Maybe a parent was born there, maybe a family holiday had once taken them to Greenock, but JW and I were surprised when he revealed he was actually born in Scotland, sometime around the death of Queen Victoria. Al was equally surprised and hopeful when Scotland scored a try against France, but I hope for his sake he didn’t watch much more. We all jointly moaned about the lack of a decent local ale in the bar given the range of breweries around and mused about a possible novelty club named lager along the same lines as the Cricket Club have done with their ever-popular pint of landlord. Who wouldn’t want a pint of ‘Old Steele’, ‘Rough Jem’, ‘Pickled Pickard’ or a ‘One Down’? Other stupid suggestions welcome…
It was only the sounding of the referee’s buzzer that reminded us why we were at the ground, so with plastic cups in hand we took up our usual residence on the Bovril. Team news wise there were changes from the previous game, not surprising given the postponement at Farnborough last weekend. The injured Tom Soares missed out altogether with Sam Bayston and Harvey-Joe Bertrand dropping to the bench, as Yemi Odubabe and Ash Wells were handed starts as well as newly arrived AFCB loanee, Jack Wadham, making his debut. The Bovril was on good form with booming voices of nonsense being heard early including the excellent phrase of; “Alright Worzel Gummidge, I’ve got more hair than you’ve got teeth” from a man with a head like a cue ball.
In between talking with Robbie Lowe about the quality of the works department’s painting at HMP The Verne, a decent Magpies start was taking place on the pitch. Alfie Stanley was looking very lively as he busied himself playing in behind Yemi, his through ball sending Olaf away, but Olaf’s finish was tame at best as he side footed straight at the keeper. Stanely himself would come closer shortly after, his turn and shot forcing Horsell in the Swindon goal into a good low save that saw the ball go behind for a corner. A short corner routine came to nothing but a Swindon breakaway, but more on those to come. Ex-Magpies loanee, Kieran Phillips, was busy but off target for Swindon, and there were a couple of half chances for each side without any real alarm for either defence.
It was just before the half hour mark that we got the first goal our play had probably deserved. A corner on the far side was worked short once more and it seemed fairly obvious it hadn’t gone to plan. “Short corner, where’s that got us?” exclaimed Matt Chalmers with timing almost as good as Alfie Stanley who duly volleyed in at the back post no sooner had Matty finished his sentence. The timing of the delivery of both Olaf’s cross and Matty’s words were perfect, and Alfie’s finish was made to look a lot more simplistic than it actually was. Player’s celebrations and our amusement at Matty’s expense over and the reality soon kicked in that we needed to defend our lead. Jack Bycroft making his first save of note soon after to keep the score at 1-0 as he made an excellent save down to his left from a well struck effort. Ash Wells would pick up a knock in the remaining minutes of the half which would see him replaced by Bertrand at half-time, but the rest of the period was seen off without event as we took a 1-0 lead into the break.
Looking for a refill of my pint for the second half I made a beeline for the bar and ordered before most fans had made it inside. This was ideal until it transpired that the card machine was not working, and being a fake man of the city these days, I only had a card to pay with. Thankfully, I have paid the club via BACS transfer before for the sponsoring of a seat, so I paid for my round using my online banking app, not something I thought I’d have to do but it seemed to work. Bankers draft or cheque were not accepted. Online payment completed like some sort of financial outcast, JW and I headed behind the goal for the second half as we attacked a sunny Tesco end. Or so we thought. We were told we weren’t allowed our pints behind the goal, which is a rule that we’d forgotten about, but still seems as annoying and bemusing as it was when it was introduced. I can’t remember the how or the why of this particular rule, but it is as fucking stupid as it is inconvenient, and removes one of the simpler pleasures of going to non-league of having a beer around the ground. As a rule, it did fuck all to prevent the Poole Secondary school and the DME having their handbags that saw the police called at Christmas, but it wouldn’t be a blog unless I moaned a great deal about something. Thatcher’s Britain.
In one way, JW and I were fortunate as we had an excellent view of some clever play from Yemi that won us a penalty just before the hour mark. Some ‘to me to you’ defending from Swindon resulted in an under hit back pass to keeper, Horsell, which Yemi read well before taking a touch away from the blindsided goalie. The touch was away from goal and possibly a bit heavy, but it didn’t matter as by the time Horsall realised what had happened, he’d already kicked Yemi and ended up with the striker on top of him for his trouble. Penalty and it really was the play of an experienced striker. Alfie would confidently dispatch the penalty for 2-0 and we had a lead that ultimately would be more than enough. Alfie almost claimed what would have been his second Dorch hat trick with a curling effort that clipped the top of the net, he’d be less close with one that clipped some mush at pump 6 of the petrol station, and there was plenty of effort as we comfortably saw out a game that we never really looked like losing.
Swindon would still occasionally threaten but good defending and rushed shooting would see the bypass in more danger than our goal. Jack Bycroft even had time to volley clear a corner inside his own six yard box, not something I’ve seen any keepers do previously. Bycroft deserved a clean sheet and was unlucky to be beaten in injury time for what was nothing more than a Swindon consolation. Callum Buckley was excellent at the back all game and both Wells and Bertrand looked calm alongside him in either half, and the fullbacks of Oakley and George Calverley both had good games in both halves of the pitch. Jack Wadham was very tidy on debut and didn’t look out of place in the slightest, and although he is someone I’m often critical of, Billy Lowes had an excellent game. He ran tirelessly, broke up play, started attacks and was very good on the whole. Hopefully this is the start of a run of good form for both him and the team, not just a case of even a broken clock telling the correct time twice daily.
Olaf might not have scored but he was a tireless presence who created some good openings, and the same can be said of Harry McGrath who looks a decent addition to the squad. Yemi’s experience up top was key in winning the penalty but he was a problem for Swindon all game. Unsettling defenders, backing in whilst holding the defender’s shirt and still winning the freekick, clever passes that we’d not even noticed from the stand, it was a very streetwise performance from a man who will be key to our season. And Alfie Stanley was quite rightly named man of the match for his performance, his two goals obviously helping but he was lively whistle to whistle and could easily have had more than his two goals. He has nine for the season in the league now, and having a reliable penalty taker is very handy given some of the spot kick issues we’ve had in previous seasons. Hopefully he’ll add to that tally of nine, a return in the mid teens would be bloody helpful in what is his first full season of senior football. It was an excellent performance, a thoroughly deserved win and a vital one at that we needed to keep in touch with Kings Langley, who themselves gained a vital three points of their own as they beat Wimborne 4-0.
The post match debrief in the bar was short but amusing with one of the more obscure topics being Kevin Pressman’s penalty taking prowess and how Wolves had beaten Sheffield Wednesday in a penalty shootout having been 3-0 down in said shootout. Pressman’s penalty is a classic of the genre with no messing, just a foot through the ball and a delightful thud off the stanchion. Kepa could learn a lot from him. The Luth had to depart early as he’d naively said pre-game that he’d take Mrs Luther out for a meal if Dorch won. That backfired in a way that seemed improbable so he headed home and prepared to visit the bright lights of downtown Poundbury, which left Shanks, Scott and myself to talk shop. After a natter with Dave Martin, it was home time for me as well as a cup of tea and a Tesco sweet chilli chicken pizza would lead nicely into Match of the Day.
It was a thoroughly entertaining day and very good win, very important as well given how we face the dictionary definition of ‘six pointers’ over the next two fixtures as we welcome Merthyr and their fans who are making the trip to The Avenue next week, before a huge game away at fellow strugglers, Kings Langley, where there are even rumours of a rare minibus making way from Dorch. All games are massive now and there are no “free hits” like ones that have been mentioned in the post and pre-game comments recently. Sheffield Wednesday away in the FA Cup is a free hit, not Hayes and Yeading away. That said, it would be nice to hear more from Glenn after a key win like Swindon. As much as I know and like Brian Churchill, it would be better to hear from the organ grinder on this one. If not, then its about time Steve Dodge gave more interviews.
Here’s hoping this win is not a false dawn and we can build on it with another three points on Saturday. We thought we’d turned a corner so often only to find out we’ve gone round a fucking roundabout that it would be nice to go on a run rather than starting for someone else. As much as we look forward to seeing their fans, it would be nice not to be the team to break Merthyr’s winless run at the weekend. Up the ale house cloggers, short corners are the way forward. SV
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