The last blog I did documented the joyous experience of a last-minute equaliser at Gosport, and just how enjoyable the experience of a late goal going in our favour had been. Well, karma paid us a visit at Hendon and left a nasty bite wound as we were again on the wrong end of a late goal as we slipped to another, albeit narrow, defeat in the rain. Hendon was a day that followed the classic pattern of many a Dorch away trip in that it was a decent day that was tainted by the football. The 90 minutes even followed the all too familiar pattern of looking okay – 0-0 at halftime before stumbling to a loss – even if this one was a gut-wrenchingly late one. The signs were there that it would be a tough day to pick up a win and this wasn’t just down to the fact that Tom Killick was absent from the dugout with a prior engagement made when he was a free man after leaving Poole. The main unlucky omen was my mate James Kinnersly being there. Kinners has the distinction of being one of my oldest friends and brings all the good footballing luck of someone who has broken a mirror as he walked under a ladder whilst having his path crossed by a black cat. The last win he saw was in December 2008 as a Ryan Moss wonder strike helped us beat Bognor Regis, and two of the last Dorch players he saw score were Sam Malsom and Aaron Pugh, which is impressive considering neither has played for us in over a decade.
But as Kinners and I visited the local greasy spoon before we set off from South London towards Hendon, there was hope today might buck the trend and end his somewhere in the region of 15-20 game winless streak. We had two new loan additions from Exeter in Edward James and Pedro Borges and, buoyed by a late point at Gosport and with a couple of new additions, we had hoped we might be able to at least avoid defeat. That and the law of averages dictates that sooner or later, Kinners must see a win. My personal record at Hendon is two games and two 0-0’s, we’d both have settled for a repeat of this.
The first stop on our trek north of the river was the Stadium Sports Bar at Wembley. This was where Shanks, JP, Fred, and I had set up camp for this fixture last season, and its eclectic charm along with the fact there is absolutely nowhere worth going in Hendon other than the ground (and even that is debatable) made it the ideal starting point for the day’s serious business. I was pleased to see the odd array of memorabilia on the walls was as bizarre as ever, ranging from concrete that was once part of the old Wembley Stadium, a signed pair of Chelsea shorts, a framed photo of Salif Diao of all people in his Liverpool days, and the pièce de resistance of a quite incredible drawing of what is alleged to be Glenn Hoddle on an office door. Not only does the text beneath is make it look like poor Glenn only lived for three years, but the drawing also looks more like Ted Hastings from Line of Duty. The Merseyside derby was the early kick-off, but Kinner’s pint of Guiness was livelier than both the game and the bar as only a red card for Ashley Young was worth noting. It was only as we got up and went to leave that anything happened as we hopped on a bus and headed over to Silver Jubilee Park for the real footballing main event of the day.
Having given Hendon high marks for offering a concession rate, I was asked by a gent with a fine piece of facial furniture if I wanted to buy a 50/50 draw ticket. I most certainly did and was even more glad I had done so when Keith Kellaway advised just who was selling me those tickets, former 10,000 metre World Record holder David Bedford. This won’t be a name familiar to a younger generation, but David set the record in 1973 with a time of 27 minutes and 30.80 seconds – a record that stood for four years – and he remains the only British athlete to hold it. He even has a small stand named after him at Hendon, although he did follow up a brief chat about himself with “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”. Not being sure what we’d find, it turns out that nearly everyone who has watched telly in the past 15 years would recognise his image as the one that the 118 118 directory enquiries ripped off with those bloody adverts that got on everyone’s tits a few years back. Thankfully, David won his legal action against the company and his legacy can get back to being a former World Record holder, as well as once running the London Marathon in 1981 without training after being challenged to do so post-beer and curry in the early hours of the morning of the race by famous commentator, David Coleman. I’m unsure which achievement I find more impressive.
Keith was also able to provide us with a look at the team sheet as we made four changes from the starting XI at Gosport. JD, Olaf, Louie Slough, and new man Ed James all came in. Moysey, Jordi Foot, and Drew Eccott-Young dropped to the bench; Will Spetch served his suspension following his red card at Merthyr. In the bar, we soon ran into a couple of the Dorch contingent as Sean Tizzard had made a trip, and Sean is a man with fond memories of Tom Killick’s first spell back in the 90’s. This was a time when places like Boston and Spalding were away days, with the now somewhat repulsive double header of Kings Lynn and Baldock being a thing back then in the days before Hendon, Harrow and Hayes became our more usual trips. Bargey and Co joined us in the bar not long after and another good friend of mine, Chris Jones, who was having his first taste of watching Dorch in action after having been beaten into submission by my repeatedly asking him to come to a game. Jonesy is a former Prison Service Governor who featured prominently in the ITV documentary on HMP Holloway, but one of his more recent achievements is finishing 14th in his age category in the World Coal Carrying Championships in 2019. Every county has its own obscure contest; think cheese rolling or the famous Dorset Knob Throwing Festival but for lunatics as it is literally lugging a 50kg bag of coal on your shoulders up a bloody great hill. Come full-time, I’m sure the idea of hauling a huge bag of fossil fuel up a hill would seem rather appealing compared to watching Dorch in the rain.
Taking up residence behind the goal we watched an even first half develop as both sides looked tidy without looking massively threatening. Olaf fired narrowly wide from a Barnett cutback in our best chance of the half, with Hendon striking the foot of the post at the other end for theirs. There was a lot of play in the midfield and not a lot of end product from either team, with defences very much on top as the game settled into a pattern and the rain started to fall.
Conversation became slightly more entertaining than the football. Jonesy has recently completed the Camino de Santaigo, a 484 mile walk from France to Spain that thankfully involves no coal, but his plans had been in tatters when his phone broke on the sixth day when still in Camino. Thankfully for him there was a local phone shop run by two cricket mad Indians who spoke perfect English, and Jonesy’s knowledge of the sport and the coming Cricket World Cup meant that Vijay and Rahul were able to sort him out and engage in the sort of cricket chat they probably don’t get very often in rural Spain, also saving Jonesy the task of having to use his minimal Spanish to explain a technical issue. The Cricket World Cup also saw us talk of how England had just lost to Afghanistan, the latter now coached by ex-England man Johnathon Trott. Upon hearing this, Kinners followed up with this question.
“If he’s Afghanistan’s head coach, does that mean his employer is the Taliban?”
None of us really seemed sure, but maybe there is a more stable pension and benefits package available from the Taliban than any of us realised. Hopefully, the severance package upon leaving the job isn’t literal.
An even first half ended in rain that was only getting heavier, and when we returned for the second it was now a downpour. We all agreed the side who would win would be the one that adapts to the conditions better, and for the first 15 minutes, this was us. Shaq curled an effort having cut in from the left, and a couple of good set piece chances came and went as we started brightly, but Hendon soon came back as they hit the post for a second time when it really seemed much easier to score. We never felt properly under the cosh, but we weren’t having the better of the game either. Lewis Waterfield and Jordi Foot came on for Barnett and Olaf respectively, and both sides struggled to get anything on target with a Corby Moore effort going just wide being our most notable effort as the game wore on. It wasn’t just the players struggling with the conditions as Phil Standfield’s technology started to fail him as one of his camera lenses became waterlogged. He took shelter with us for a while and having got drenched pitch side, his magnificent turquoise boots he has to wear when working a 3G surface were one of the highlights of the half.
We were so close to the point and a clean sheet we wanted, but karma from Gosport struck as we conceded a set piece and from that Hendon grabbed a winner. Samuel Adenola managed to get across his man and head home, leaving us with very little time to muster a response. As late as it was, we almost nicked a point when a cross into the box was fumbled by the home keeper with the ball falling to Louie Slough. Unfortunately, much like a chance that fell to Will Spetch at Gosport, it wasn’t the sort of opportunity that you want falling to a left footed centre half as he was unable to set himself as the ball fell, and the chance was gone.
The fulltime whistle blew shortly after and our 1-0 defeat was confirmed – it was a defeat that had Hendon scored after 60 minutes, might have felt a fairer result, but as it was, it was a proper kick in the nuts. It was another frustrating afternoon in a season that has had a good few of them so far, and a defeat which extended Kinners’ winless streak towards the 15-year mark. As most of the away fans headed home, Kinners, Jonesy and I took up residence in the bar to watch the other results roll in. That in itself was a bit of a task given that most of the screens in the bar were showing a Harry Potter film rather than Final Score. With the rain hammering down outside, Jonesy’s plan of a swift getaway to Highgate to watch the rugby was put on hold as shelter and lager took priority, and I had a quick chat with a gutted Louie who would have been much happier had his last gasp chance fallen on his other foot. It was a hard result to take given that neither side was notably better than the other, but there did feel a bit of an air of inevitability about their goal when it came. It was a game against a decent side in awful conditions, but this did feel like the sort of game we’d have got something from this time last year. Although he wasn’t there, Tom has already said he wants to add a bit of experience when he can to the squad, and the absence of Will Spetch hurt us a bit with his prowess in both boxes in this sort of game where it always looked like a set piece would be the most likely method of scoring.
Spetch’s absence meant it was again a different defensive set up for what feels like the umpteenth game in a row, and our consistency in selection is pretty reflective of our consistency in getting results. After several weekends with no games due to our uncanny knack of getting knocked out of every cup competition at the first hurdle, games will be much more frequent from now on, and we really need to start picking up a few points. There was nothing inherently wrong with anyone’s performance on the day; JD was impressive coming forward, Ed James had a solid debut, and Adam Forster kept well in conditions that were horrendous, but no one stood out either. Olaf had our best chance, but he still seemed a bit off the pace, which is to be expected from a man who has missed most of the season up to this point. His sharpness will no doubt return, but you could tell he’s not quite at the same level he was last season. And as a team, we need to score more. This is stating the bloody obvious but given we have kept no clean sheets this season, we have had to score at least two in every game we’ve won. Our goal difference is already pretty miserable, so an improvement in both boxes is needed and pretty soon given our position, but even with all that said, I do have faith in the new management team to get us organised and firing. Things don’t feel as desperate as they may have in previous seasons, and having spent more time than I care to remember watching Tom Killick’s Poole sides give us some hidings over the past few years, I don’t think things will stay as they are for long.
Despite the loss, a decent day out was not to be ruined and the evening was finished off by a taxi for three to Highgate, a two-course meal in Pizza Express, and a evening watching the Rugby in the Prince Of Wales, even if I had precious little idea what was going on. I know you can’t pass the ball forward, but the rest of the rules are something of a mystery to me – I’m sure that’s the case for a good few who play it as well. After England slipped to a late defeat, giving us a perfect record of late losses for the day, several more pints were consumed and the evening was rounded off with a large bag of Skips before another sit-down meal, this time in the Archway branch of McDonalds, before heading back home.
Given this blog is very much in the ‘better late than never’ category, I’ll even offer up some musings on the two home games that followed Hendon in the Sholing loss and the draw with Hayes & Yeading, despite the fact I wasn’t actually at either. Using the very balanced information source of our WhatsApp group for this brief review, it sounded like the Sholing defeat on the Tuesday was exactly the sort of loss we have become painfully accustomed to in recent years that I mentioned earlier in the blog; a 0-0 at halftime that would be turned into a loss with a dire second half. Will Spetch’s injury time goal was only a consolation as we lost 2-1, having conceded two almost identical goals. Tom’s post-match interview was brutally honest and if that is what he was happy to say in public, I can only imagine what was said behind the dressing room door. An improvement against H&Y was needed on the Saturday, but before we got to that game, the club announced the departure of Alex Moyse who joined Willand Rovers in the league below. I liked Moysey and am sad to see him go. I definitely think he had something to offer, but Tom will obviously want to build his own squad and will make difficult decisions that come with it. I’m sure Moysey will do well for Willand and he was joined at the exit door by Benjani Jnr who saw his loan from Yeovil cut short. In the last few weeks we’ve seen Callum Buckley, Moyse, Benjani, Jack Wright, Harvey Bertrand and Lloyd Thomas all depart, with Drew Eccott-Young, Adam Forster, Ed James and Pedro Borges come in. What further activity follows will be interesting to see.
The H&Y game sounded like an improvement in just about every aspect from the previous two, even if it didn’t yield three points. H&Y seem to have remained true to form and remain a team of utter arseholes, a club we’ve always had problems with since the days Nevin Saroya and Jamie Brown had an almighty bust up that saw Browner elbow Saroya so hard in a following fixture he ended up with some floating bone in his own arm from the force. Pedro Borges sounded like he made a very encouraging debut, and the tried and trusted combo of a Corby Moore corner and Will Spetch’s forehead saw us go in at halftime 1-0 up. There is a strong chance that Spetch ends up with double figures this season, although he may have to do it the hard way as he received a red card for two bookable offences, which was his second red of the season. By the time he’d got that red, the score was 1-1 and he had just won us a penalty, with the second yellow coming in the aftermath of the award. The penalty was taken by Shaq but his scoring touch eluded him with his penalty going wide. H&Y missed an open goal and there was further needle, but in the end it sounds like a point was a decent and fair result.
Hanwell away is next on Saturday and that’s another one I’ll be at. With Spetch probably suspended there will likely be at least one change to the XI – he’ll be a big miss against a side that are one of the more physically imposing ones in the league, but they’re only four points above us, so its another good chance for TK to get his first win back as boss. Hopefully we can get that and a clean sheet as soon as possible and we can get back to looking up the table again. With a bit of luck, and much like 118 118, we’ll have Hanwell’s number. Yes, that is an awful joke and no, I am not sorry. SV.
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