There have been times over the past few seasons when I’d have not watched Dorch if they were playing at the end of my garden – a very metaphorical garden, I live in a fourth floor flat in Peckham, so no gardens here – but an uptick in form and performances have seen me catch the bug again and two reasonably close by away games in four days saw me making tracks to both Didcot and Hanwell. Both teams are in the relegation dogfight with us, and both places are easily accessible by train, so it was with hope and optimism that I set off on Saturday for the first of this obscure double header as I trudged across London to get to Paddington, and then onwards to Didcot.
I was very confident of us getting a win at Didcot, and my delightful and very healthy breakfast set me up right for the day as I started heading to Reading to meet a veteran of two Conference South games for the Magpies, and Dorset Senior Cup winner, Dan Floyd. Floydy is one of a rare few to have played both first team football and cricket for Dorch, and he’s certainly the only former DTFC player I’ve taken a stumping off of in Division One of the Dorset Cricket League. Many have played first team rugby and cricket, but football is the rarer of the holy trinity with Paul Bassindale possibly being one of the few to do so. Lyn Stockham may also have achieved this rare feat – if anyone can confirm this or knows of any others, do let us know.
Floydy and I met at the Three Guineas at Reading station and immediately launched into the important topics of Max and Paddy quotes, the difficulties of being second team vice-captain, and what to expect from the day. This was Floydy’s second game of the season but also his second in the last eight years, so he wasn’t sure on what or who to expect. Even since his previous game this season, the 1-1 at Hungerford, much has changed in terms of personnel and performance and despite our league position, we were on a reasonable run of form. This wasn’t quite in must win territory, but was definitely in the cannot afford to lose class. Despite being on just about our best run of the season, we’ve still managed to stay exactly where we were, maybe even dropping a spot, through no fault of our own. Other teams also picking up points and us having two postponements in the same time mean we’re still stuck in the relegation zone, but it is a very tight league. We were both of the opinion we’d win, and as we finished our pints and headed one stop down to Didcot on the train, we heard from other travelling Magpies about how close to the ground they were.
Dev had roped Sam into attending, with the latter hoping to improve on a Dorch win/loss record that would make Craig Laird blush, and they had gone straight to the pub off the train at Didcot, The Prince of Wales. Floydy had suggested that he and I meet at Reading for a beer based on the fact that the Didcot pub was “ropey”, and Dev seemed to back that up with his review: “feet sticking to the floor, table isn’t flat, bogs have half eaten bananas in them”. It was probably for the best that the reason for the half-eaten bananas was never revealed. Eames had taken a different approach to the day and had taken the family to the Didcot Railway Centre before he darted off to the game with the wife and kids going to the cinema. Could 90 minutes of Southern Premier League action match up to seeing Brunel’s broad-gauge railway and how the mail used to be collected by trains? It would be a tough ask.
Ollie also joined us, hoping to improve his record of seeing us face the league’s rock bottom side in Oxfordshire after the dismally bad evening in North Leigh last season, and Bargey had managed to get someone else to drive as he and Dev Derrien came up in a carful that also included a framed shirt from our FA Cup round 2 tie at Luton from 2012. Much to their delight they had managed to get the new landlord at The Vic to part with the shirt on Friday night, and this was the best return for anyone involved with the cricket club on a Friday at The Vic since Shanks and I cleaned up at the meat raffle in 2009. The bar was mainly full of Dorch and we’d travelled in what for us was decent numbers. It has also been established that our supporters once included the late Bruce Forsyth, who was a vice-president back in 1959. His support must wained in his latter years, I don’t recall seeing him in latter years, but he did pass away when Laird was in charge so maybe the two things are linked. Even the fact there was a fucking Weymouth shirt on the wall didn’t seem to dampen the rare feeling of positivity about the game. Fin and Charlie Crane added their voices to the optimism as they arrived close to kick off having allegedly been in Didcot since 9AM and killed some time by going both swimming and trampolining. There were even some goggles to prove it.
As we made our way outside a ground that looked like it had been built using a Travis Perkins fence panel sale, we would be kicking with the pretty sizeable wind first half and having to get to grips with a pitch that was showing signs of wear to say the least. We were totally unchanged with the starting eleven and subs being the same from Plymouth and with the wind we fancied our chances. Neither side threatened in the opening few minutes with a couple of sighters being the only efforts of note, but a free kick out wide after ten gave us an opportunity to get a ball into the box and try and make something happen. It couldn’t have gone too much worse.
Corby Moore’s delivery was easily headed away and a long clearance up field left Drew chasing a bouncing ball towards our own goal with a Didcot attacker doing the same thing. A bounce, a slight hesitation and a very clumsy foul later and Drew was being shown a red card for denying a clear goal scoring opportunity. Down to ten men with 80 minutes still to play. Fuck. At the time, we weren’t sure how close to goal it was and if there were any covering defenders. Having seen it back, we’ve not really got any grounds for appeal. The resulting free kick came to nothing and our only real adjustment was JD dropping to right back, but the pre match optimism had certainly taken a bit of a dent.
Having ten men didn’t really seem to change much about the pattern of the game with us having good possession and neither side really making either keeper work. Despite the numerical disadvantage it was us who had the first chance of note after 35 minutes. Corby’s lofted ball forward was expertly taken down by Will Fletcher, but his effort was well saved by the on-rushing Leigh Bedwell in the Didcot goal. It was around about this time that those of us behind the goal realised that Didcot weren’t up to much at all, and that us getting a result here even with ten wasn’t out of the question.
Speaking of Bedwell, he wasn’t someone that had been forgotten from the reverse fixture when we won 3-1 at the Avenue. He’d got the usual stick from behind the goal that day that seemed to centre around him having a shit haircut and not seeing the funny side of having Shaq empty his water bottle, but had taken the peculiar step of trying to start on the Kray-nes in the bar afterwards that resulted in an excruciating ten second standoff where no one did anything. With that fresh in their minds, Charlie and Fin wasted no time in reintroducing themselves to him on Saturday. It was the usual stuff until the ball was returned to the home keeper with force, which was rather unnecessary, and struck him in the shoulder. He of course went down clutching his face before miraculously recovering from what initially appeared a fatal blow. After thirty seconds of finger pointing, a home fan or someone involved with the club trying to film our fans, and ensuring that Bedwell wasn’t going to suffer from life changing injuries, everyone got back on with the game.
The rest of the half passed without further incident both on and off the pitch and, having refilled our glasses for the second half, we were behind the goal with a bit of cover and a good chance of getting something from the game. The 45 minutes that followed were pretty attritional. It was a tough pitch with conditions to match, and even as 11v11 it wouldn’t have been much better. But we kept on trying to push forward rather than sit back and try and shut up shop, and Didcot couldn’t seem to string two passes together. We made our first change as Marcus Daws was replaced by Shaq, and moments later we almost took the lead. Corby’s free kick was floated towards the penalty spot and Bedwell had made the decision to come and punch it. He got nowhere near it with Ed James getting a flick on with the ball heading towards the goal, but a brilliant full stretch clearance on the line from the covering centre half kept it at 0-0. That felt like it might have been the best chance we’d get and with 20 still to play there was a long time to go. Thankfully, that wasn’t the only chance we’d create.
With ten minutes to go and after some excellent footwork from Ngalo, another ball out wide from Moore was arrowed towards Olaf. Bedwell started to come, the defender slowed down, and then so did Bedwell as the ball held in the wind a bit. The one person who didn’t slow down was Olaf who got to the ball before the indecisive keeper, rounded him and put the ball across goal giving Fletch the simplest of tap ins to give us a precious lead. Olaf’s effort was probably going in but no one is blaming Fletch for making sure. With ten to play and a lead to protect we made our last couple of changes with Jonny Efedje and Ieuan Turner coming on for Fletch and Olaf, and in the end we saw the remainder of the game out comfortably with Didcot having anything other than hopeful crosses that Jameson Horlick used as catching practice. Another win, another clean sheet and three vital points to keep us in touch with those around us and keep Didcot isolated with Harrow at the foot of the table. We had certainly played our cards right but this wasn’t a smash and grab or a Brucie Bonus, we thoroughly deserved the win.
As the players thanked and celebrated with the fans, including Fletch donning Charlie’s goggles, we all filed back to the bar for the debrief on a job well done. Considering how long we’d played with ten men and how difficult the conditions were, we’d never looked in any real danger of losing. It felt excruciating at times watching it, but it was actually quite comfortable in the end. 90 minutes of 11v11 would possibly have seen the margin of victory being more, but no one was grumbling about the way we won it. The ten men all played their part with the back four being very good with the fullbacks, JD and Hastey, not giving the opposition anything to work with, and Ed James and Will Spetch winning just about every header. Spetch probably gets my vote for man of the match for his dominant display, but there were three or four others who had good claims. Even though he wasn’t really tested, Jameson Horlick was very assured in goal – he’s got three clean sheets in five after a tough start against Hungerford, and having a settled lineup is a real benefit after a lot of changes in the earlier part of the season.
Pints of gloat consumed and with no awkward standoffs between home players and away fans, we all filtered out back towards our various homes – my trip back towards Peckham was in the company of a chicken and bacon slice, some flavoured water and four lion bars. Pretty much first-class travel. It had been another successful away day in a season that I’ve been fortunate to see a few, and I was actually looking forward to the trip to Hanwell on Tuesday night…not something many people have ever said.
Tuesday’s game at Hanwell was third time lucky after two postponements, but it was another straightforward one for me to get to with the ground being a short walk from Perivale tube station. Even if the route was easy enough in theory, the reality of it was a 25-minute journey on the central line, which for anyone who has ever travelled in London will make you shudder. With a couple of stops waiting for signals and platforms, the 30 odd minutes from Bond Street to Perivale was the most uncomfortable thing associated with a Dorch away game this season, and I saw us lose 5-0 at Plymouth. It turned out that Fred and I were on the same train, but didn’t actually realise that until we were nearly at (Oakley) Hanger Lane due to the volume of humanity on the service.
Off at our destination and grateful for the fresh air, Fred initially directed us through a park the wrong way, before we got back on track. It’s not exactly a picturesque part of London, and it wasn’t improved by the pissing rain either as we took the bridge off the A40 towards the ground. We had a bit of time before kick-off so we headed into the Myllet Arms for a swift one before completing our journey. Once we worked out how to get into the pub and where we needed to stand at the bar to actually get served, we spotted there was a carvery available. Neither of us had had any dinner and were both planning to eat at the ground, but the lure of the joint of beef was too much. So, like a scene from The Inbetweeners, it was two carvery dinners and two pints please barkeep.
Filling and excellent value at £10.49 for the large version, the burnt ends and beef was demolished in a hurry and our hoods went back up as we ambled to the ground. We were both delighted that our Blue Light Cards were valid for concession discount, and we soon had a pint in our hands and a chance to see the team news. The starting eleven was unchanged with Drew’s suspension kicking in for the visit of Gosport on Saturday, and Harvey Hughes was on the bench with Lewis Waterfield missing out. We chatted with Eames in the bar who had hoped to continue his good run of wins – he’d also now recovered from being mistaken for Matt Oldring by Craner at Didcot. The lack of a loudmouth NFL bobble hat should have been the giveaway. This was as local a game as it can be for Eames, and he was joined by two friends in Pearson, who as a Chelsea fan was backing us for the night, and Andrew, who was combing supporting Hanwell with avoiding his inlaws, home side bobble hat and all.
Understandably given the distance and timing, there weren’t as many Dorch fans as there had been on Saturday, but we were grateful for the shelter at both ends as the rain hammered down. One thing I was surprised by was the quality of the pitch in that it’s comfortably the best surface in the league. At first glance I actually though it was artificial turf such was the quality of it, and it didn’t cut up despite the conditions as the game wore on. I know a few clubs at this level get help from professional clubs who play some fixtures at their grounds, Bournemouth playing at Wimborne, Watford at Kings Langley and so on, so it’s possible QPR may help with the maintenance if they still play games there, but I doubt we’ll play on a better grass surface than that this season. The old Avenue pitch would have looked like it had just been harvested by this time of year.
There wasn’t really much in the game for the opening ten minutes until a high cross got hung deep into our box. It more than likely got held up in the wind but as Horlick seemed to get stuck under and misjudged the flight of the ball, Elliot Benyon got in between him and our stationary defence to head in the opening goal. It was a poor one to concede and seemed all too easy; how we responded would be key.
It was a pretty even game from this point on as we came into the game more, with Hanwell still posing a real threat. The home side saw a cross hit the top of the bar and a shot from a partially cleared corner screwed just wide, and most of our best work came through the impressive Marcus Daws who drilled a hard shot with next to no back lift that the keeper gathered at the second attempt, and that same man had the home keeper scrambling to tip wide a whipped ball in that might just have been creeping into the far corner. Olaf and Ngalo both had shots from range go straight at the keeper and both sides failed to take advantage of a handful of set pieces, but Hanwell led 1-0 at the break which felt a touch harsh but wasn’t irretrievable.
The wind we seemed to be kicking with first half had almost totally died down by the start of the second, and we’d made two halftime changes in a bid to get us back into it. Ed James and Drew came off, James only allowed to play 45 minutes by his parent club, Drew possibly more tactical, with Shaq and Ieuan Turner coming on. We think it was a 4-2-1-3 formation but we were throwing so many numbers about it might have made a call if someone had Google listening in on their phone.
We almost levelled the score early on as Fletch’s flick on found Shaq in space on the right side of the box, his low effort saved by the boot of the home keeper. Hanwell were still seeing plenty of the ball and Horlick showed good hands to safely gather a well struck shot from range. Horlick again had to be alert to keep out a sharp effort from a corner, and we made our final change with Luke Roberts coming on for Fletch after 69 minutes. We thought we’d equalised after 70 minutes with the rain still falling, as Shaq’s diving header saw us have the ball in the net and a enjoy a couple of seconds worth of celebrations. These were cut short by the assistant’s flag and although we weren’t at the best angle, it looked like it would have been tight. In the bar afterwards, one of the Hanwell coaches said that their subs had been in line and that it was never offside, watching it back it’s a far closer call. JD picked up a booking soon after for a dive which even the most biased of Dorch fans would have struggled to have said was the wrong decision, and it started to feel like it wasn’t going to be our night.
However, there was no doubt about the equaliser that came very soon after with Shaq taking matters into his own hands. If he was fortunate about how the ball got to him as it broke loose from a tackle in the midfield, there was nothing lucky about his superb first couple of touches to control it and get him away from two defenders. With the keeper rushing out to narrow the angle, Shaq waited for him to commit before he lifted the ball over his outstretched leg and into the corner of the net to make it 1-1. It was a goal our efforts and certainly Shaq himself deserved, and it should have setup a grandstand finish.
It was very unfortunate that no sooner had we got level that we went down to ten men as Roberts felt his hamstring go as he made a run off the ball, and despite his best efforts, he wasn’t able to carry on. We’ve had some good practice with ten men this season, but there was to be no repeat of Didcot as we saw out the remaining minutes and as the full-time whistle went, we weren’t sure if it was a point gained or two dropped. Looking at it now a couple of days on, it’s a decent point and one that keeps our run going as well as keeping in touch with those around us. Despite being on a good run and playing our best stuff of the season, other results really aren’t going our way – a late Winchester goal seeing them draw 2-2 with Swindon was very helpful in keeping it all tight in that bottom eight. Pearson, Fred and I had a chat in the bar about the game and other footballing matters, Fred and I having no memory whatsoever of Frank Lampard missing a penalty in the 2010 FA Cup final between Pompey and Chelsea. I was at that game and must have been so distressed by Kevin-Prince Boateng missing a penalty for Pompey at 0-0 that I blocked the rest of it out. Back talking about the evening’s events and we grudgingly accepted that a draw was probably fair. We were joined by the manager for a very entertaining chat about all things Dorch, past and present.
Tommy was playing when I saw my first Dorch game back in 1997 and we heard tales of the team from that time including how Stuart Morgan wanted a tight first ten minutes away at Oxford in the FA Cup only for us to be 4-0 down in that time, the infamous Avenue curse, a double header weekend that saw us beat a high-flying Kings Lynn side on the Saturday before mysteriously crashing to a defeat at rock bottom Baldock the next day with the players seeming to be struggling for various reasons relating to the previous day, and Taffy Richardson’s no nonsense approach to cancelling players’ contracts who weren’t keen on leaving. Present day and he’s happy with the way we’re heading now, stay up and give him a summer to build and I think we’ll be a tough proposition for anyone. If he can attract players to a school field, he can definitely get them to the Avenue, having already taken four players and the drummer from Poole – don’t rule out more familiar faces being linked in the future.
Gosport on Saturday in the Jamie Brown derby is next and should be a good game. They surprised everyone by losing at Harrow in the week, but with several ex-Dorch in their side and them still in the promotion hunt, it’ll be a tough game. I’m sure it’ll end up 2-2 as that’s just what happens when we play each other recently. Hopefully Pedro and Alfie Stanley don’t fancy it as having seen the news of them signing for Gosport, I have a feeling we know how these things usually go. Here’s hoping for a good crowd, a good atmosphere and three points.
Bracknell is the next game for me personally, I’ll soon start looking for carvery options in the local area. Up the fucking Dorch. SV.
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