Last weekend’s defeat away at Basingstoke (a game we really should have won) meant that our impressive unbeaten run came to a disappointing end at the penultimate hurdle. It’s testament to the players – and of course management – that we have gone from battling relegation at Christmas to now being disappointed to lose a somewhat meaningless game in the space of a few months. Such is the anticipation and excitement for next season that ending the season unbeaten since Gosport felt like an important milestone.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t to be and so we had to somehow find a way to pick ourselves back up, regroup and get motivated for an end of season dead rubber. To make matter worse, said dead rubber was at home to AFC Totton, a club who it is hard to have anything other than ambivalence towards. I’m far from unique in feeling that, as this too is an opinion shared by the residents of Southampton who, despite living in what is surely the most boring city on the south coast, also share a similar level of apathy towards their local non-league football club. Such is the level of disinterest, that the club has become something of a laughing stock as the club has had to turn to making up attendances to ensure they appear more interesting than they actually are.
Despite all this however, it has to be said that they have assembled a very good team and look good for their considerable money, comfortably sitting in second place. They’ve not rested on their laurels either and significantly strengthened over the course of the season, including the capture of the league’s most predatory striker, Tony Lee, to supplement the ageless Scott Rendall up top. Age is just a number after all.
Despite the end-of-season feel to the game, the club were adamant to build on momentum around the place and used the game to offer free entry to all u16s. It also marked the end of an era as Scott Symes’ last game as Chairman, after a five year sentence, sorry stint. I don’t think its an exaggeration to say that his drive, single-mindedness, determination and hours of work he has put into this club, has saved this club from, well oblivion. I dread to think where we would be otherwise – and if anybody deserved a fantastic send off, it’s Scott.
Quite what that send off would look like was anybody’s guess. Pre-match consensus seemed to be that the crowd would be around the 800 mark and we’d be happy with that. (A ridiculous thought given where we’ve been and where crowds have been for the last FUCKING DECADE!).
As we sat in Copper Street Brewery (for we are all now mid-30’s, and micro breweries are now more our scene, whether we like it or not) news broke that seven of the team have already signed up for next season – a signal of intent. In Spetch, Corby, JD, Drew, Olaf, Pards and Luke Roberts, we have a core of a strong team committed. It was only a season or two ago that we were going into the final pre-season still experimenting and trialing players, so to have the core of a group signed up before the season is even over, is an unprecedented positive step. This is all very alien to us.
As we walked towards the ground, we begun to feel like our predictions of 800 might be a little low. The walk down the Avenue is an accurate barometer if ever I’ve seen one – and by the time you’ve walked past the cricket ground and got a gauge of how busy the traffic light crossing is, I’ve found you can then predict a crowd size with unusual accuracy.
This underestimation was confirmed as we got into the bar, to find it utterly fucking packed. Sadly it makes for a shit blog, but Luther and I jumped behind the bar to jump on glass washing duty, to elevate some of the workload on the poor volunteers, who like many people seems to be a bit surprised by the size of the crowd.
By the time the buzzer went, I finished up, grabbed a pint and headed out just in time to witness Totton take an early lead. A long ball in to the corner saw Ethan Taylor chase down Ollie Haste and as Hastey tried to see it out, Taylor picked his pocked. (For any Conf South fans/officials reading this Ollie does this week in, week out. He’s a fucking liability. I’d look elsewhere if I were you) Tony Lee scuffed his shot, which deceived Jameson who spilled it and Rendall had the easiest of tap ins. Only three minutes in and we were one down. To make matters worse, this enabled the handful of Totton fans who had made the hours journey to break out into what is possibly one of the worst chants I’ve heard at a football match: “The football’s in the net, la la la and it’s one-nil to Totton.” One can only assume that this is sung for pure shithouse, piss boiling reasons, much in the same way Palace play Venga Boys each time Mateta scores. (A chant we have of course stolen for Olaf, and we’ll be speaking with Terry to get this on his playlist).
Whether it was shithousing or intentional, either way I think we can all agree it’s better than the “we love our paedophile” chant that Totton aired at the reverse fixture earlier in the season.
One down and although we had a lot of the ball, and created a good number of half chances, the usual intensity was lacking from our play. Certainly defensively our pressing was below par and so it wasn’t much of surprise when Totton strung a few passes together relatively comfortably, worked it to Rendall, who sat Ieaun down before finishing into the corner. Two-nil and for the first time in 2024, there was a feeling that we probably weren’t going to get back into this.
And so it so proved. Although the boys clearly had a rocket up the arse at half time, a third shorty after the restart put pay to any hopes of a come back. Another long ball into the channel saw Ieuan wonderfully feint and fool the on running Lee (“Oh Ieaun!” I said, applauding) before, on his weaker left foot, he passed it straight back to an on rushing Totton midfielder (“Oh Ieuan! Head in hands). Two passed later and Taylor was through to finish a simple one-on-one. Three and game over, if it wasn’t already.
There’s not really much more to say about the game. We huffed and puffed a bit more, but Totton with all their quality controlled the match pretty comfortably and added a forth when Rendall was left unmarked in the six yard box after a simple move. You felt Totton didn’t get out of second gear – and I’m not sure we ever got out of first. It was the quintessential ‘the boys are already on the beach’ type of game. Which was a tragic shame, given it was our second highest attendance of the season.
Nevertheless, the atmosphere kept going (I’m still amazed at the repertoire of chants the yoof/Electric Avenue lot have come up with) and we had a nice, but a pretty awkward round of applause with the players, given that we just lost 4-0 at the end of the match.
With the bar even more packed post match as it was pre, the end of season awards took place on the Bovril. Hastey picked up the Supporters’ Player of the Year, which, again for the attention of any fans from other clubs, is surprising as he’s stealing a living at this level and really isn’t that good!
Ed James was voted young player of the season, which is utterly deserved. We’d all love Ed back here next season, but he’s destined for bigger things and I’m sure he’ll go down as yet another Exeter player who found his feet in the mens game whilst loan to us. Spetch was awarded player’s player of the season, which is quite the achievement given he’s been with us half a season and picked up three reds. But it’s not hard to see why he was so revered by Poole and Sutton fans alike – he is the epitome of the word leader. Later in the evening, I asked him why he hadn’t ended up here earlier, given that most of his Poole career was spent in the Wessex League. Sadly, I got too drunk to remember his answer, but I’m pretty sure he mentioned he trialled here but wasn’t fancied. (Probably in the same way Charlie Austin trialled here when he moved south from Hungerford, but was felt he couldn’t make the step up!)
This season has seen the makings of an unreal bond between players and fans – one, I have honestly never witnessed at Dorch before – or indeed many clubs. This feeling was only confirmed in the bar afterwards as the both parties geared themselves up for a big night in Bournemouth.
And that brought the curtain down on what has been a roller coaster of a season. The initial struggle to repeat last seasons form, Tommy finally succumbing to our overtures, a ridiculous run of form that has enliven the club [and town] once again and see’s us quite realistically eyeing up the play-offs next season.
Let me take this opportunity to wish Totton the best for the play-offs, I do hope they are successful. One, because they’ll be Champions Elect next season otherwise and two, because, well, I struggle to see the point in them. It’s like Boreham Wood, but in an even more beige location. Fuck it, give me Cribbs Causeway instead – at least Bristol is a decent night out. CM.
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