For the first time in 12 years, the August battle for my attention was won by playing cricket and not by the start of the football season. Keeping wicket in the Dorset League Division Two was how my Saturdays were spent, with my only Magpies games being a pair of somewhat underwhelming 3-1 defeats by Tiverton and Farnham. But, with the cricket season over and my absolutely fucked fingers getting a well deserved rest, the Magpies season could start properly for both me and hopefully the team as the orange coat and the Peppa Pig bag were dusted off for an away double-header of Plymouth Parkway and Brixham on Tuesday and Saturday respectively, with expectations set suitably for a side that currently sit bottom of the Southern League.
The start to the season has obviously not been what anyone had hoped for, with opinions ranging in our ever rational WhatsApp group from we’ll come good and it’s too early to judge, to the season is effectively over and we’re in a relegation battle. Normal stuff for the first week in September. But as I was picked up by Ash Jury in his stretch Renault, he, Pete nor I quite knew what to expect other than some fucking horrendous weather as we headed towards Plymouth. The drive was something of an experience as a combination of Jury’s vaping and Pete’s cough gave the impression that the engine may well have caught fire, and the torrential rain around Exeter made the drive fucking awful at times. Jury, our resident weather guru and storm chaser, was quick to say he’d driven in much worse when he’d been storm chasing, words that did little to help as the rain belted down and Pete attempted to cough up a lung.
Mercifully, we arrived in Plymouth with both the car and Pete’s internal organs intact and headed into the ground, one that up until a 2-1 win last season has to be one of the most miserable places I’ve ever been to. Chatting to the other travelling fans in the bar, which was a decent number given our start, it was a Tuesday night, and really shit weather, the general consensus was that we’d been unlucky at Gloucester the previous Saturday to lose 2-0, with the missed penalty at 1-0 neatly summing up our season so far. We made one change from that particular game as Charlie Wooding came in for Joe Parker, and we started like a side with a point to prove.
After a couple of efforts from Wayne and Luke Roberts, a low effort from Tom Smith, a freshly ground coffee man in a team of Nescafé original blend, forced the Plymouth keeper into a good low save to tip the ball around the post for a corner. As good as that save was, there was nothing the keeper could do as Wayne acrobatically turned in Spetch’s header back across goal. A deserved lead and a much needed boost for Wayne who needed one after the penalty faux pas the previous weekend. The goal seemed to spur us on a bit more as Roberts and Pards both went close, and the second goal duly came and it was from another set piece with another assist from Spetchy’s forehead. This time it was his header back towards goal following a mistimed punch from the keeper that went in via the crossbar and an unfortunate defender’s back, and although it was definitely an own goal, I’m sure the defender won’t really want it. The celebrations behind the goal involved only Jimmer, Aiden and I, not because we had no other fans, more that the sensible ones had taken shelter by the bar from the torrential rainfall. Aiden’s hood keeping him something resembling dry, Jimmer’s Sports Direct giant brolly protecting him from the elements, my umbrella that might have come from Peacocks not really fit for purpose and blowing inside out every few minutes.
We saw the rest of the half through to go in 2-0 up at halftime which enabled us to take down the two absolutely sodden flags, and for Buik and Aiden to attempt to wring out the drenched fabric. Despite nearly cutting off circulation to his index finger, Bu joined the rest of us as we trudged down the bottom end to see what the second half would bring. And after a chance at each end, good pressing and poor play at the back saw us go 3-0 up. Wayne was again the scorer with another excellent finish after Parkway had been caught in possession at the back – his effort curled into the far corner should have really put the game beyond doubt. For reasons best known to myself I had gone full Wardy and backed us to win 3-0. Despite us not winning a single game 3-0 last season, he has placed the same bet each week with admirable stupidity, but caught up in the excitement of the first airing of the orange coat, I’d backed that same score. Should I cash out was now the question I faced, but, as the rain persisted and we still looked in complete control, those who watched the Walton game knew 3-0 is still a dangerous lead to have. What followed was a nasty case of deja vu as the improbable and the unwanted once again happened, and I should have fucking cashed out.
A Plymouth corner didn’t look especially threatening but when Joe Besant’s attempted catch turned into more of him waving goodbye to it, Charlie Wooding’s goal saving action was to handle the ball. The inevitable red card followed the award of the penalty, and when said spot kick was converted there were about 25 minutes for us to try and see out with the score 3-1. Subs followed with Hutch coming on for Roberts, and Daws for what looked like an injured Hastey, but there was a second Parkway goal sandwiched between those as another corner wasn’t dealt with at all, and at 3-2 those of us behind the goal had a nasty feeling about what was to come, as well as those present on Guyer’s video call. Luth’s facial expression was that of a man who knew what was to come.
That said, it wasn’t all one-way traffic. Dawsy, who looked very sharp having just come back from injury, had an effort cleared off the line, and Wayne had a chance to complete his hat-trick but was prevented from doing so by some alert keeping. As we entered injury time it felt like we might see the game out, but what was either a very ambitious shot or an overhit cross flew into the far corner of Besant’s net for 3-3. Gutting. And we still had six of the added seven minutes to go. It almost got worse as Besant allowed an effort to squirm under him and trickle towards the line before he clawed it back, despite the protests of the home fans and players. And we almost won it with the final kick of the game as Dawsy broke away from a Parkway corner to run the length of the pitch, but his effort went well over and the final whistle was soon met with something between relief and annoyance. 3-3 and definitely two points dropped.
Counting the Totton 3-3 in the playoffs, we’ve now drawn three of our last eight league fixtures 3-3, surrendering leads in all three of them. The sooner we can get a league win the better as despite the many positives, the negatives are more noticeable. Two goalkeepers being used already is less than ideal, the fact that neither is our actual number one, Gez Benfield, is a touch more worrying. Benfield hasn’t been involved in a competitive game since Taunton away in March, and with the amount of time he must have spent in the treatment room his three dart average must be at least in the mid 50’s by now. Charlie Wooding looked very competent in midfield before forgetting he wasn’t a goalkeeper, but the sizable Jordan Ngalo shaped hole left in the middle is proving difficult to fill. For some it is a case of noticing Jordan more now he’s not there, and his absence is sticking out now more so than before. And although he was back on the bench for Plymouth, Tommy being banned from stadiums for four games helped no-one, with the bench going from one extreme to another from game to game with either everyone shouting, or no bastard saying a word, with very little in-between. For all of the recruitment that does look good with Tom Smith, Joe Parker, and Harvey Wright all adding quality, replacements for Jordan and Glenn Howes still seem to be lacking.
With that said, the FA Cup tie at Brixham on Saturday gave us the opportunity to get a much needed win and just over £3k for the bank, and we did just that. The day started well with my large Spoons fry-up filling a hole, Bargey’s breakfast of a pint of Stella hitting the spot for him, and although Church was distraught at having to pay for air, the alternative of driving to Devon with a flat tyre wasn’t preferable. Both the tyres and Bargey were pumped up and after taking a slight detour though 1970 as we made our way through a very grim looking Paignton, we arrived in the very pleasant surrounds of Brixham and headed to the ground. We’d once again travelled well, and although we were told it was very basic by one of the friendly stewards, Brixham had a tidy enough setup in the bar and I’ve visited far worse grounds than that. Not seen as many fence panels at too many others mind.
There had obviously been a bit of a mix up with what kit we wanted to wear as the outfield ten were in home shorts and socks with the blue and white away shirt. Joe Besant in goal looked especially ridiculous as he had our green shorts and socks and Brixham’s orange keeper’s top on, making him look like the bottom of a tin of Quality Street. Playing wise we started well as Pards netted his first of the season following a mazy little run and some good build up after only five minutes. But, a rather routine long ball saw a home attacker spring a rather lacklustre offside trap and loft the ball over the green triangle in goal for 1-1. Despite the very vocal protests, it looks like the Brixham striker was either onside or bloody close to and it was just a bit of a shit one to concede. Not that it mattered as Luke Roberts became the second Luke to find the net as we went 2-1 up just before halftime, and despite a couple of close calls, Pards scored his second of the game to put the result beyond doubt to secure our place in the next round. Flags removed from the garden fence and after Bargey had a quick cuddle with Hutch, it was back to the car to reflect on a job well done and travel back home. Well, Church and I chatted, Bargey napped, but he did have a Chinese to pick up later and needed to liven up.
The preliminary round draw isn’t the spectacle of the proper rounds, but that didn’t stop Buik asking if it was on the radio. When Floydy told him it might have been in 1987, Bu got the wrong end of the stick and was shouting at TC to put 1987 on the radio so he could listen to the draw. Despite not hearing audio of the draw, the tie of Farnham away is a bit of a pisser. Away to a team in our league isn’t ideal, and this is our 15th away draw in the FA Cup or Trophy in a row. The only thing less likely than that is us winning 3-0. Still, it gives us a chance to avenge a soul crushing 3-1 against that same opposition from a few weeks ago.
On the whole, the season start can only really be considered poor given we’re bottom and haven’t won in the league, but there are some reasons to be hopeful for what is to come. Tommy being back in the dugout is massive, we seem to have a fully fit squad in the outfield department, and although he’s suspended for one game, I’ve been impressed with what I’ve seen of Charlie Wooding. We looked much better against Plymouth until the red, and hopefully we can carry on from Brixham into the Yate game on Saturday and finally get three points in the league. Despite our awful start, no one has really started the season brilliantly with everyone dropping plenty of points, so us going on a run and picking up points and getting towards the right end of the table isn’t unthinkable. The season starts now, or something like that.
Up The Magpies, here’s hoping Buik has some good news to listen to on the wireless come 5pm on Saturday. SV
