“We were going to try and submit a team sheet with only ten fucking men on it.”

It has been almost exactly a month since my last blog, the Bank Holiday win over Poole Town, and much has changed in that time. The main changes are that three of Poole’s best players from the side they put out that day now play for us, and that their manager is now our manager. The latter of these is such a recent change that it left me having to partially rewrite this blog when caught totally by surprise. I’ll get to the new managerial team later; you must first read through the Didcot and Plymouth games that showed both the best and worst we’ve had to offer on the pitch this season.


The Didcot game showed what we are capable of as we claimed a comfortable 3-1 home win – the sort of routine home win that is still a surprise when it occurs. The Girlfriend had joined me on this state visit back to Dorch, and we were joined for a most convivial pint in the Convivial Rabbit at lunch by Bargey, who was the third wheel on our table. Bargey and I tried to structure the expectations of my other half, but she has a pretty good record watching Dorch so far with her pre-game stats being four games seen, two wins, one draw and one loss. She is still allowed to attend home games after almost having a banning order placed on her by Keith Kellaway after a 3-1 home defeat to Chesham last season. The three of us were all quite confident of a positive result, which is a rarity for at least two of us, although even a handsome home win would not be enough to tempt Fin to head to Plymouth on the Tuesday. His reasoning however was sound; he fucking hates the place.

After a saunter to the ground, an ice-cold bottle of Tribute was acquired and we got our first look at the teams – the eleven looked about as strong as it could be. The three new signings from Poole, Will Spetch, Corby Moore and Jack Dickson, all made their home debuts. Ollie Haste returned in place of Alfie Saunders, who I assume had returned to Farnborough after his one-month loan, in the only change from the side that drew 1-1 at Hungerford. I thought Alfie was quite tidy from the couple of games I saw and wouldn’t be sad to see him back should he reappear later in the season. We were kicking towards the Tesco end first half, so round that way we headed to see what the first 45 had to offer.

There was a good number behind the goal and after a chat with Livvy about the goings on at the club, we got settled into what became a pattern for the half of us having lots of possession, and the keeper getting a fair amount of stick for his hair. Think 90’s Ian Walker, just without the goalkeeping ability. We had a goal disallowed as Shaq was adjudged to have fouled the keeper prior to Leighton Thomas heading in Corby Moore’s corner, but we were having by far the better of the game and looking good with the ball. It felt only a matter of time before the first goal came, and we were rewarded after 27 minutes with a well finished goal from Jordan Barnett. Lloyd Thomas’ mammoth kick up field looked to be running out for a goal kick at the other end, but some excellent work from Shaq saw him pick the defender’s pocket at the byline, cut past another defender, and then his pass back to the edge of the area was met perfectly by the onrushing Barnett who calmy side-footed the ball back across the keeper and into the corner for a 1-0 lead we thoroughly deserved. Didcot’s keeper had no chance, but he had already committed the cardinal sin of rising to the bait of those behind the goal, so his despair wasn’t met with much sympathy.

We had hoped this would set us up for a comfortable end to the half, but as is often the case, we underestimated our ability to make things more complicated for ourselves as we gave away a penalty that the visitors duly converted. Few seemed happy with the decision, other than the Didcot bench, and I think I fall into the minority in that I can see why it was given. Corby Moore was the unfortunate man to give the spot-kick away as he took a touch before trying to volley the ball away. That touch allowed a Didcot player to try and get a block in, and rather than volley the ball, Moore appeared to make contact with the Didcot player and him only. You could argue that the Didcot player had gone in high, but I applied the two step principle: firstly, what would I say if it was the other way around? And secondly; how did our players react? I concluded that I’d be screaming for a penalty if that was a Dorch player who had been kicked, and that none of our players really argued the decision in a way that you’d expect if a side had been on the wrong end of a shocker. Good or bad decision, it was definitely 1-1 as the halftime whistle blew, and that didn’t feel a fair reflection of the half, especially after Will Spetch had seen his header from a Moore corner hit the bar.

Didcot’s keeper was still bearing the brunt of some of those behind the goal, with a steward having to have a quiet word at one point as a C-bomb was used with a lot of young kids in the vicinity. One small girl was confused about why the steward got involved.

“Why did they tell the man off”

“Because he used the ‘C’ word you don’t like.”

“What, Clarkie?”

Yeah, that’ll be the one.

Livvy and I once again had a chat and seemed on the same page, both thinking a penalty wasn’t the terrible decision some thought, and both still confident we’d get a result. 3-1 and Leighton Thomas to score was his prediction, and it is a shame for him in-play bets aren’t something you can do at this level. Switching ends and having a chat with my old HMP colleague, Paul Buddin, The Girlfriend and I finishing the remainder of the chips, cheese, and gravy she had got to eat (she is Northern), we were treated to one of the better halves of football this season as we never really looked in danger of conceding and looked a constant threat going forward. Both Barnett and the impressive Jordan Ngalo hit the post as we pushed for the second goal, and that goal eventually came after some acrobatic work from Leighton Thomas as he kept a loose ball in play, and after Spetch’s header was blocked, Leighton was able to take a touch a fire in for a 2-1 lead with just over an hour gone.

A third goal seemed more likely than a Didcot equaliser and that came with five minutes to play, with Spetch heading home his first Dorch goal from Moore’s pinpoint corner. 3-1 was how it stayed – a thoroughly deserved three points and very good overall performance. We were good all over the pitch with the three new additions from Poole all showing what they can do. Moore’s dead ball delivery was very threatening, and he rarely wasted possession; Spetch was solid in both boxes as he didn’t lose a header all day at the back and added to his goal tally this season, having already scored a few for Poole. He is a bit of a throwback defender, the type of player who looks like he’d head a bowling ball if it bettered the team, and having someone like him play alongside Jordi Foot will benefit all. And the third home debutant in Jack Dickson won the man of the match award, a decision there can’t be much argument over as he turned in an excellent performance down the righthand side. He looked very good, and it is easy to see why Poole fans were sad to see them all depart in the wake of the sacking of Tommy Killick. More on him later.

It was as well as we’ve played all season and the only minor complaint is that we didn’t score more. We played some good stuff and looked more settled than we had in all the previous games I’d seen. The bar afterwards was jovial, although the Didcot keeper did try to confront a few of those Dorch fans from behind the goal which ended up in the predictably awkward exchange when the keeper and one of the fans half squared up, before realising neither had the minerals to actually do anything. Both stood waiting for someone to intervene so they could posture a bit and make it look like they had been held back from doing some serious harm to the other one. It was as embarrassing for all involved as you’d expect, although a stupendous pair of blue crocs worn by one of the Didcot staff did provide some comic relief. A good chat with Martyn Richards followed and the combined efforts of the two of us saw a football retrieved from a perilous position behind the Tesco end as we left the ground. It was a true triumph over adversity as a long stick and my hyper bendy arms aided the recovery mission, and after The Girlfriend and I had some food on the way home, a successful day came to an end.

After such a commanding win on Saturday, I was looking forward to the game at Plymouth Parkway on Tuesday. My main problem was how to get there as my original plan of a lift with El Generale was scrapped due to his ongoing foot injury (possibly trench foot). I was able to secure a lift on the minibus heading from the club, news I got on the Monday when I had popped into Goldies and happened to come across Guyer. Talk of Pompey, Dorch, and a forgotten Who’s Afear’d classic was had over a few pints, but the one story that stood out was the discovery of a long forgotten bit of loft space in the pub. With the pub recently changing hands, an old loft hatch had been discovered. This was explored and the poor soul who went up there came down not only very dusty, but holding a rather obscure item – a fucking great noose. To somewhat state the obvious, it wasn’t a recent addition to the pub and had obviously been up there for decades. It does still beg the question though, what the fuck is a noose doing up there in the first place? There are lots of stories of tunnels in the area from various buildings, and with a history of hangings in the town at the prison years ago, it’s quite possible this is the genuine article. Either way, not what I was expecting to find out over my pint of ale.

Onto Tuesday and the Plymouth game. I’ll spend little time on the 90 minutes as there isn’t much worth reporting on. The minibus there was straightforward enough with Scott driving and Buik as co-pilot, Kate and Del Taylor on board, and Keith Kellaway and I sat in back keeping to the long-established school rule of the hardest people sitting there. At the ground we got a look at the team sheet, but something didn’t look right. Scott went to see what had happened as Will Spetch, who had travelled, wasn’t in the squad, let alone the eleven. He quickly returned – we were about to submit a side with only ten players. First disaster averted, albeit it temporarily, we were able to see the actual side and it surprised us all. Lewis Waterfield and Louie Slough came in for Moyse and Barnett, and the formation changed from 4-3-3 to a 3-5-2, Dickson and Haste as wingbacks. This felt an odd change. On our best run of the season with 10 points from an available 12, all won with a back four, so the change felt an unnecessary risk. Moyse and Barnett had been two of our best players in Saturday’s win, and with no game the coming Saturday, they weren’t being rested for that. Neither spoke of any injuries when asked by others as they warmed up, so the changing of a winning side was tactical, rather than enforced. If we’d changed to match up with Plymouth, a team we’d recently lost to in the FA Cup but also one with only one win this season, it felt a risk. It soon became apparent it wasn’t one worth taking.

We were 2-0 at halftime and hadn’t mustered a shot on or off target, and it was as bad as I’d seen us in a while. We came out for the second half in what looked like our 4-3-3 from previous games and managed more possession and two shots, even though they were off target, in the first five minutes. However, any hope of a comeback was soon stopped as Jack Dickson was sent off for his second yellow, and we were reduced to the ten men we’d tried to submit on the team sheet in the first place. JD slipped on the turf, as many had done all game, when trying to make a challenge, and the result was a clumsy looking but not malicious foul. Having already been unfortunate to pick up a soft yellow for kicking the ball away in the first half, off he went, and with 40 minutes to play, it turned into damage limitation. Things got worse as Spetch was forced off with injury, and the eventual scoreline of 5-0 to Plymouth wasn’t unduly harsh on us. At least we didn’t hit any roadworks on the way back. Hopefully Spetch’s injury isn’t a serious one as he will be a key player for us, moreso now Callum Buckley has left to join Winchester. We wish all the best to Buckers, someone who was vital in the last couple of seasons and played a huge part in the season we survived relegation. Someone who always had time for a chat and a wholehearted player in the pitch, he’ll be a loss, but his move seems to suit all parties well.

Things turned a bit toxic with some fans voicing their displeasure and in return getting some sharp words of advice, and Glenn looked shellshocked as he walked off. He had that same look against Walton and Chesham, and quite where we would go from here was a concern. With two very tough away games coming up against Merthyr in the Trophy and Gosport in the league, followed by Bracknell at home, this run of games felt make or break for Glenn. And with talk of Tommy Killick getting louder with every passing game, there was definite pressure. Even so, the announcement of Tommy taking over with Glenn working alongside him came as a big surprise.

It always felt like it would be one or the other, and now we have both, but with Tommy as manager and Glenn assisting, it’ll be very interesting to see how it pans out. Tommy has worked with both James Wood and Glenn before at Poole, and Tommy’s own time at Dorch is well remembered, with him being a key part of a very good side under Stuart Morgan. Tommy himself spoke of his fond memories of his time at the club in part three of the players’ choice features that we did during the pandemic. With three of his trusted lieutenants in the squad already in Spetch, Moore and Dickson, Tommy has a decent, if not slightly underperforming squad to work with, and I’m now back in the position of looking forward to rather than dreading the next few games.

Tommy’s spell at Poole was incredible both in terms of longevity and success achieved in that time, and there is now a genuine sense of optimism moving forward. He likes to win, doesn’t accept anything less than 100%, and has the track record to prove he knows what he’s doing. He’s long been talked about as a Dorch manager, fans will now get to see what he has to offer, I for one am excited to see how we fare. Huge credit to Glenn as well for being the initiator for this move. A proud man and one who we all desperately wanted to succeed, he has done a tremendous job in bringing the club on since he came, with last season being the most enjoyable for may a year, even if the climax didn’t match the start. Well, we’ve all been there. He looked a man who had just found out his cat had been ran over after the games against Walton, Chesham and Gosport. Fair play for him for bringing about the managerial change, I’m very happy to see him stay around and am optimistic the current setup can really achieve something.

Gosport away from the Jamie Brown derby is my next game so I’ll hopefully have something to write about then, if not I’ll try and find out what the fuck else is in the loft at Goldies. SV

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