In seasons gone by we’ve gone into the last game with our fate in our own hands. Next Saturday is another time when we’ll know what is required of us before kick-off, but for the first time in fuck knows how long, we’re looking at promotion and not relegation. If we do get into the playoffs then we’ve really earned our spot there after a second 3-2 win over Easter kept us in fifth, and left Poole as the side nervously looking over their shoulders at the relegation trapdoor, leaving behind a trail of punctured inflatable dolphins and social media bitterness as they departed the Avenue.
Poole is not a game that a lot of Dorch fans consider a derby, mainly as we all know Poole is in Hampshire, but it’s not hard to see why there has been more of a rivalry in recent seasons. It’s more Place v Brighton than it is Celtic v Rangers, but there is an evident dislike between the two sides, and a real hatred for at least something or someone at Poole from a lot of their former players. And after a pretty forgettable draw at Tatnam Farm over Christmas on a day that was only memorable for just how bad the facilities were, Easter Monday had big implications for both sides.
It wasn’t quite the 0944 from Dorch West to Frome, but with Copper Street opening early at 11 for us I acted as the advance guard and took up residence and half a stout for my breakfast. I was soon joined by Bargey, Harry and Dev Derrien, with the latter given strict orders not to work at heights again after his acrophobia inducing antics at Frome. Not all of that trio were especially fresh from the Sunday night with Harry sporting a shiner, and then after receiving a phone call asking Dev the bizarre question of “have you pooed in the shower”. Dev seemed unsure and thankfully we were distracted by an incoming train before the plughole punisher could be revealed.
It wasn’t so much that a train had pulled in, it was more that what looked like somewhere in the region of 150+ Poole fans made their way over the bridge and towards town, blow up dolphins and all. They all headed off to town in the direction of the junction, which according to some Poole fans was a ‘designated away pub’. This was as much of a fabrication as the rumours of some of the Chelsea Headhunters coming to town for the game. Because of course after winning in their own West London Derby on Sunday, what those Chelsea boys really wanted to do was go the fucking junction on Easter Monday with the Poole Spunk Bubble Squadron.
Copper Street started to fill up as those who had headed to the Market Cafe for a light brunch joined us, and a few more of the familiar faces filed in. More Poole also arrived on the next couple of trains in with there being no signs of trouble, or any of the 657 Crew, ICF, Soul Crew, Naughty 40, or that little kid who wore the falconry gloves at Poole. There was a thorough debrief from Frome with some able to fill in memory gaps that others may have had, and with the weather brightening up it was soon nice and busy inside and out at the pub. There was no sign of any trouble at the station, but there were rumours of a couple of isolated scraps in town which sadly isn’t surprising given the state of some of the specimens coming off the earlier train. But, if you play stupid games, you’ll win stupid prizes, and if there is one thing these Poole fans were, its fucking stupid.
This was evidenced by a tweet from a Poole fan alleging that “cattlepolts” had been used against them. Fucking cattlepolts. Quite which of the Young Farmers from Kingston Maurward had loaded a cow into a trebuchet and launched it at the junction beer garden is still unknown, and we’ve yet to see an appeal for information from Dorset Police about a bovine based bombardment on Great Western Road on Monday lunchtime. Still, as we made our way to the ground nice and early, as well as avoiding any remaining flying heifers, the place was already starting to fill up. The bar was already a couple deep so given how the sun was out and the new can bar had opened where one of the old turnstiles used to be, we headed round there to see what it was like.
Turns out it is very good and much needed to take the pressure off the main bar. Now we’re actually worth watching, the increase in crowds has made it clear that we needed an alternative. We now have that, and with the bogs open above the snack bar, it means I don’t have to yomp into the stand or the bar and miss much of the game should I need a piss or a drink. Some poor sod probably still thinks we beat Merthyr 2-1 at home as they scored so soon after the second half kicked off that he missed it as he was in a queue for a slash. The team news had started to filter through and the main things of note were Wes back in for Dawsy, and Noah Crisp in goal still. Having had a quick chat with Harry Lee, he was able to tell me it was not his or Dorch’s call to have him miss out, it was Exeter’s and was down to concussion protocol. Annoying but understandable, not matter how desperate he was to play, and it robbed him of the chance to win another bottle of MOTM wine for his Mum. I’m sure his chance to win another no doubt fine Chardonnay will come soon enough.
Crowd and atmosphere were both building, as were the queues outside the stadium with the estimates for somewhere around 1,600 seeming to be somewhat on the low side. Poole had travelled well and looked to have somewhere around the 350 mark, and we’d blown even our most ambitious estimations out the water as the Bypass end and the Bovril were already busy, with the area around the can bar and the stand filling at pace. As the teams came out and stayed where they were at the toss, we took our place on the Tesco end, put the flags up, and basically got progressively more nervous over the next two hours.
Neither team started at an electric pace but Poole did fashion a very good opportunity inside the first ten minutes which fortunately, for us, fell to Billy Lowes. His shot was easily held by Crisp, and we’d take the lead a minute or two later. Hastey lifted a ball into Luke Roberts on the edge of the Poole area, and if it looked like he had a lot of space, that was nothing compared to how much Matt Buse had as he received Roberts’ pass and drilled a low shot past Ben Taylor for 1-0. Taylor got a lot on it and should have really have saved it, but we weren’t especially arsed about the method or quality of the goal, we had the lead we wanted. We didn’t hold onto it.
With ten minutes to go until the break a Charlie Davis corner evaded everyone except Ezio Touray who nodded in from very close range to level it up. This wasn’t Touray’s last important header of the half as he cleared a Spetch header from a corner off the line in the final act of the half. 1-1 at the interval seemed pretty fair, and with everyone now in the ground it looked as busy as it has been since Plymouth. Lugging the Peppa Pig bag from the Tesco to the Bypass end seemed to take an age as people filtered round, and seeing the ground with this many people in was great to see. This would have been the first time a few have been in years, and quite possibly the first time ever for a few. After what happened in the second half, hopefully a few come back next season.
The Bypass end was packed and in fine voice, we just needed a performance on the pitch to match the fans’ efforts. There wasn’t much between the two sides for the first 20 minutes as the only opportunities of note went wide, one by Charlie Davis and one from Olaf. Pards came on for Buse and Dawsy for Roberts as we looked to shake things up and the game did spring back into life after 65 minutes, but sadly it was as Poole took the lead. A corner wasn’t properly cleared with the ball being hooked back in for Touray to turn in a tidy finish at the near post. It was a real kick in the teeth and could have killed the game and the atmosphere dead in many of the seasons past. But we’re a very different proposition now and it took less than two minutes for us to equalise.
It was a case of subs combining as Pards was given an almost free run to the byline by Christos Batzelis, Ben Taylor was good enough to wave at the ball under what could be described at best as gentle pressure from Shaq, and the two Poole defenders at the back post gave Dawsy the freedom of the six yard box to nod in an unchallenged header. 2-2, noise back up, players tails up. The momentum was with us now and although it took a huge challenge from Corby to repel a Poole attack, we looked like the team to make something happen. We made our third change as (Super) Brett Pitman came on for Shaq, and minutes later we’d earn ourselves a golden chance to make it 3-2 as we won what I think is our 11th penalty of the season, but I’ll happily admit I’ve both lost count and don’t care.
It all came from a long clearance from Will Spetch that found its way towards Brett Pitman. Despite having some close attention from Jamie Whisken, Brett used both his nous and his arse to cause Whisken to mistime his header, and Brett’s resulting pass then set Wes away. His progress was stopped by a clumsy challenge from Harry Thomas and the referee had no hesitation as he pointed to the spot. It was at this point I realised that Charlie Davis was on the pitch having not actually noticed him, the mark of someone having a decent game. Olaf was handed the ball by Brett, placed it on the spot and drilled a low shot to Taylor’s right that for the second time in the game the keeper got a decent hand on, but once again, it wasn’t enough as the ball nestled in the back of the net. 3-2 up and a ten minute turnaround was complete. The celebrations and atmosphere were something else, and its been a long time since we’ve had a crowd and an atmosphere like this at home. It was now a case of keeping our lead.
There were no major alarms until injury time, and by then Poole hadn’t helped themselves as Billy Lowes was sent off. His first yellow card encapsulated his spell with us as he miscontrolled the ball, ended up chasing his first touch, and then gave away a needless foul to receive a caution. His second was a clumsy foul on Dawsy as he looked to break free following the breakdown of a Poole attack, the resultant red card was no shock, with Lowes’ boss at work bellowing from the stand; “If you’re going to be as late getting to work tomorrow as you were for that challenge just now, don’t bother turning up.”. If he made the challenge much later he’d have missed work on Wednesday as well.
There was time for one more Poole chance as the usually deadly Touray fluffed his lines as he missed a golden opportunity at the back post with the final kick of the game, but as Dorch fans can attest to, any side that starts at the Avenue with both Lowes and Davis in the side tends to end up losing. The final whistle blew as the ball was still rising and there was as much of a sense of relief as there was joy amongst the fans, Harry waving around a beer soaked Dorch GK jersey, me waving the Peppa Pig bag aloft like a trophy so I didn’t trip over it. Some of the players had obviously waited a long time to get one over on this lot – Spetchy and JD in particular appeared to relish the moment as JD conducted a quick headcount and audio survey of the mood in the away end, and Spetchy looked elated as he celebrated at the Bypass end. All the players thanked the fans, even Tommy allowed himself a few punches of the air in delight and the amount of younger fans wanting selfies with the players or autographs is definitely not the sort of thing you’d have seen here a few years back.
We’d even forgotten that we were technically kept in the ground for a while after the game as the away fans were allowed out first as they filed back towards another potential cattle battle by Maumbury Rings. Poole had travelled well and the official figure was given to us as 488, a very good following at any level. But that evidently wasn’t going to be enough for some as Poole’s own Twitter account took the unusual step of thanking their 700 fans with a photo from the first half that clearly has a lot of Dorch fans in, black and white shirts, Magpie flags, segregation fence and all. Considering their allocation was capped at 500, this is obviously fucking stupid, but to do Totton maths in a photo that is obviously largely Dorch is quite something.
The 700 figure was also used by one Poole fan on Twitter who had already blocked us, but given he is the same bloke who once had to make his account private after a tweet mocking Gary Speed’s suicide resulted in most of the Merthyr fanbase wanting to give him a good hiding, it’s not a surprise he’s still talking bollocks. The ever-helpful Andrew Rossiter also waded in with the 700 number that had been plucked from thin air and also criticised the lack of turnstiles and the one member of staff we had serving, which is wonderful irony considering how away fans at Poole are treated to, you’ve guessed it, one turnstile and one member of staff serving. Shockingly, self awareness might not be Andy’s strongpoint.
The mood in the bar after was understandably celebratory with each player cheered as they came into the bar. The number of people still at the club after was staggering and the bar take must be something that would have made even Dabbs smile. JD was awarded the sponsors’ MOTM but it could quite easily have gone to a couple of others – ultimately it was a proper team effort that has given us a chance of a playoff place at Hungerford. Match or better Havant’s result against Wimborne and we’ll secure the final playoff spot, and who knows, there might be a couple of players who might want to endear themselves to Tommy ahead of next season. I certainly have always had a soft spot for Wimborne and I encourage no-one to look at any TSOF tweets aimed at them from around the time of COVID.
After demolishing a lot of cheese at the club and heading into town to the junction to ensure there were no livestock issues there, it was home for some much needed rest and recovery from a quite ridiculous few days watching Dorch. Getting to this position is a bit of an achievement in itself, but Tommy and the side won’t be seeing it that way. This is the first season in god knows how long we’ll end with a positive goal difference, we’ve got a 20+ goal a season striker, serious depth in the squad, attendances on the rise, but I doubt that anything other than being fifth will be counted as a success. I’ll be on one of the two supporters coaches that are off to Hungerford on Saturday, and given the magnitude of the game and our recent away followings, I’ll be fascinated to see how many fans make the trip for what is one of our biggest games this side of the millennium.
One thing for sure is that the win over Poole and the day as a whole will live long in the memory, but given his issues with number and memory, hopefully Andy Rossiter has remembered the result this time. SV.
