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“When you have to call the fire brigade because your mate is locked in the Costa toilets.”
After the relegation of Hayes & Yeading last season, I had hoped we’d seen the last of clubs comprised of two shit places no one liked who merged to form one horrendous super club, but no. Havant & Waterlooville fell through the Conference South trapdoor and H&Y had been replaced in a like-for-like manner. I […]
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“How is he giving us the wanker sign at his age.. with his arthritis!?”
In the euphoric ending to 2024 and our last grasp victory over Basingstoke, Tommy Killick warned against complacency and the need to refocus quickly for Winchester just two days later. At the time, I assumed he was referring to the difficulty players can sometimes face in motivating themselves following such an emotional victory. But in […]
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“Sit down you fucking gnome.”
Before Saturday’s game, there was no plan whatsoever to do a blog on the afternoon’s festivities against Basingstoke. At about a quarter to five with us 2-1 down, I was already preparing to erase any trace of the game from my memory. However, come six o’clock, it felt like there had to be some sort […]
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“Everyone remembers that Boxing Day because of the Tsunami. I remember it because of a Groover hat trick and a 4-1 win over them lot.”
Being dragged to the footie by the old man has been a Boxing Day tradition for me from a very young age, mostly to see us get a hammering by Weymouth. Our last proper derby game with a Boxing Day victory came in 2004 when Groover scored a hat-trick in a 4-1 victory over Weymouth, […]
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“No offence to JD but if Sam Scaff have voted him MOTM, they clearly haven’t left the bar”
Once upon a time this blog recited debaucherous tales of quite unsociable antics in National League towns and Southern League villages, bisected by 90 minutes of utterly dreadful football. In fact we became quite good at it and more than a handful of you enjoyed reading our frivolous activities such as Spuddy throwing up over […]
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“Current debate. Is wicked the musical good? Discuss.”
It’s only right that we start this blog with a moment of reflection for the loss of one of the town’s oldest establishments. This was going to be a memorial for Ant leaving the WhatsApp group after a week-long debate over Hastey’s red card against Hungerford, but, to absolutely no one’s surprise, he came crawling […]
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“Does he just want to be suspended over Christmas? A Gary Bowles special?”
My first time writing anything other than an email or text since the days of the old fans’ online forum on a Monday morning – Kempy out! Sorry, old habits. Anyway, onto the day. As usual, any Saturday starts with a gym session at Reluco, and a shout out to former Dorchester keeper and owner […]
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“Me singing Dorch songs around the living room hasn’t gone down well with the wife. Apparently, the youngest has only just gone to bed. I really don’t think she understands the level of Dorch I’m at.”
The only other time I’ve written the blog was 10 years and 1 million miles away from where we are now as a club. A 3-0 loss away at Redditch on a Monday night in front of a bumper crowd of 204 might have been the bleakest moment of my life, just pipping my mum […]
