• “A Wessex league manager, at a Southern League club, in a Conference South coat.”

    With Christmas getting ever closer, I usually cause my family much irritation when informing them what I want as a present is three points on Boxing Day. I’m usually left very disappointed that my wish is not granted, but I was fortunate enough to be at Swindon on Saturday as we claimed an early…

  • “If he’s Afghanistan’s head coach, does that mean his employer is the Taliban?”

    The last blog I did documented the joyous experience of a last-minute equaliser at Gosport, and just how enjoyable the experience of a late goal going in our favour had been. Well, karma paid us a visit at Hendon and left a nasty bite wound as we were again on the wrong end of…

  • “I may have shouted ‘get the fuck in’ during the entertainment, but it’s not often we come back from 2-0 down.”

    At about half past nine on Wednesday night, there didn’t seem to be much requirement for a blog on our visit to Gosport. 2-0 down and heading into the last five minutes, it hadn’t been a bad performance at all but it was literally and figuratively nothing to write home about. Then Danny Hollands…

  • “We were going to try and submit a team sheet with only ten fucking men on it.”

    It has been almost exactly a month since my last blog, the Bank Holiday win over Poole Town, and much has changed in that time. The main changes are that three of Poole’s best players from the side they put out that day now play for us, and that their manager is now our…

  • “Get that f***ing c*** off the pitch.”

    With games over the Bank Holiday weekend against two of the best sides I saw us play last season, namely Chesham at home on Saturday and Poole away on Bank Holiday Monday, I’d have snapped your hand off for two points ahead of those. After a pretty demoralising 2-0 defeat against ten-man Chesham on…

  • “I blame Pep Guardiola.”

    If the opening day of the season was a night out, it would be New Year’s Eve. We’ve all had one great NYE that set the bar unobtainably high for future years, and it is now just a once a year special that never lives up to expectations, but one you feel dutybound to…

  • “Who is our sub who looks like Ramzan Kadyrov, the leader of Chechnya?”

    There are few better footballing feelings than seeing your side win away from home, particularly on cold midweek nights such as Tuesday. Conversely, there are few worse footballing feelings than seeing your side lose away from home, particularly on cold midweek nights such as Tuesday. My visit to North Leigh comfortably falls into the…

  • “At least when we lose to Weymouth on Boxing Day it’s a good day out”

    Last time I visited Tatnam Farm, Poole were a Wessex League team and the General and I, as we did every year in those annual pre-season games, jumped over the fence at the back of the ground rather than stumping up a couple of quid. Poole have progressed a long way since those days, but…