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“”Lovely bit of tractor action in the background”
Alright. It’s been a while since we done one of these, so it’s apologies if you’ve been missing your TSOF blog content. But we’re back! We invite you to endure another of our belated ramblings, and a first for the 2026-27 campaign. This could be down to the collective hangover of relegation from the…
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“Have you heard about them skiers injecting their cock and balls to make them bigger so they stay in the air longer?”
In a relegation fight you need to have people who are prepared to battle in the trenches on your side, and on Saturday we say this literally and figuratively as the mud-caked players left with a vital three points at Yate, and Columbo fell over in the mud twice in an attempt at an…
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“I missed our fourth goal as I was having a piss and I thought it was 3-3 at fulltime. Couldn’t understand why everyone was so happy.”
Somewhere, there is a parallel universe that sees Dorch having another really good season. Following a convincing 3-0 home win over Walton that set the tone, we sit comfortably in the playoff picture with a rock solid defence, a potent attack, Tom Smith’s Dosed Coffee is available at the snack bar, and the Gorge…
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“Scandinavia? Is that a tractor or a country?”
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes and Dorch bottling derby day. It’s a safer guarantee than socks for Christmas, and spoiler alert… this year was to be no different. Our record against “the rectum of Dorset” (Liddle, R. 2025) is truly, truly abysmal. We had only won 38…
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“They don’t have any lager, so half a pint of rosé it is.”
The phrase that football is a ‘funny old game’ doesn’t really ring true at the moment as I’ve had next to fuck all to laugh at watching Dorch this season. From pre-season optimism to a poor start, false dawns involving a step forward to be immediately followed by two steps back, to the somewhat…
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“ I like to sit down in front of Strictly and catch up the messages then. I fucking love Strictly.”
Grief and emotional comedowns can do strange things to people — and affect their future. I’m not referring to the loss of a family member, or a night out at Motion in Bristol circa 2012, but rather the play-off final against Totton in the summer, which, quite frankly, was a shitshow of a performance…