• “Apparently the blokes that did it were Polish.”… “Where had they come from?”… “Poland”

    One of my favourite films is The Rock, that’s the film with Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage and not the WWF wrestler (I was always more of a Road Dogg fan myself). At one point in the film, Dr Stanley Goodspeed (Cage) and John Mason (Connery) are trapped inside the old cells of Alcatraz and […]

  • “I’ll give you going down.”

    We all make mistakes in life, and I can only apologise for the error I made in the last blog from the Beaconsfield game when I referred to that result as rock bottom. This was rock bottom. It was a 90 minutes with no positives as we lost 5-0, got what was at least our […]

  • “I might know more about football, but I’m not beating you at poker.”

    There is theory that many addicts can clearly remember when they ‘hit rock bottom’. Well 1700 on 04/01/2020 is hopefully the start of a recovery of some sorts as the preceding 90 minutes of football, and indeed the last few months have been steadily building towards this, a 3-1 defeat against the side that at […]

  • “If you boys go down, what even is the league below this?”

    The saying goes that “it’s a funny old game”, but it’s been fuck all fun being a Dorch fan for quite a while now. After staying up last season and a early flurry of transfer activity in pre-season, there was a cautious sense of optimism that this season just might be different. Fast forward a […]

  • “Is that his actual hair or a piece of taxidermy?”

    Photo credit; Phill Standfield Staines away sounds like a budget supermarket detergent, not a good way to spend a cold Tuesday night. But given a recent upturn in form and its close proximity to me, it seemed a decent opportunity to see if we had indeed turned the proverbial corner. Staines is a ground I’ve been […]

  • “Didn’t you get chased with a baseball bat away at Bradford?”…. “Na, it was with a knife at Swindon away.”

    They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well, welcome to the gift that keeps on giving, the apparent insanity that is watching Dorchester Town FC away from home. Given we’re a club that has won 6 games in total on the road […]

  • “I’m going to have to go early, Charlie has rolled in shit and needs a wash.”

    Midweek games are the saviour of the working man/woman. A way of breaking up the working grind and giving an opportunity to moan about different things. Although moaning is something that has been oddly absent in recent weeks. Vastly improved performances and results with largely the same squad that looked so poor under Laird, have […]

  • “I know it’s not great, but Dunstable does have one of the best cemeteries in the country.”

    The logic of a football fan is often very illogical. For example, given we’ve lost 5 from 6 and have a goal difference of -20, why would I want to spend my afternoon in bloody Dunstable of all places? Well I’m not known for my sanity and it turned out to be a worthwhile trip […]