• “You’re just a shit DPD.”

    With pre-season passing by without the chance for me to watch a game, the first opportunity I had to watch the new squad Glenn has put together was an August Bank Holiday trip to Yate. Last season, this fixture saw us unlucky to be on the end of a 2-1 defeat in a game…

  • “I never thought that one part of my Saturday would be spent stirring a sausage casserole.”

    I know its only one game and we don’t want to get carried away this early in the season. However, who is best to speak to at the council to arrange a parade and do Damory do open top buses? We’ll also have to put some feelers out about replacing the Town Pump with…

  • “Why is he dressed like a traffic cone?”

    Pre-season is a strange old time. It is a period where results don’t matter and it is all about fitness and shape – that is until you lose two games and it’s going to be a disaster of a year again and the club has gone backwards. A time when you’re happy to see…

  • “Imagine Steve here with a calculator trying to work out if we’d stayed up. That would be better than the game itself.”

    Walton Casuals away in the last game of the season was a fixture I was dreading. Not due to any great fear of the area, but the thought of having to go there and get a result to secure survival, which seemed very likely a few weeks ago, was not a pleasant one. Memories…

  • “His dad sent the stewards around apparently.”

    It’s fair to say our recent form against Salisbury is fucking dire, to say the least. Under the newly reformed Salisbury FC 7 years ago, our record against them had been played 10 lost 9, plus a draw in the FA Trophy – we ultimately lost the replay 0-3. One of those losses includes…

  • “I genuinely don’t like football.”

    There are few more crushing feelings in football than watching your side lose to an injury time goal. Seeing your side do so in the purgatory that is Farnborough, having played and defended so well for 90 minutes is doubly depressing. This was another sucker punch in a season that has seen us on…

  • “My claim to fame was that me, Stuart Morgan and David Fayle went on the Ester Ranzen show to talk about the curse.”

    Saturday September 14th 2019 seems an age ago. It was a pre-pandemic world before social distancing and lockdown, the Mango Mussolini was still US President, Callum Brooks was in charge of Dorchester, and Alan Luther was without Mutton Chops. It also marked the last time that we came from behind to win a league…

  • “I had a fucking horrible date on ‘Plenty Of Fish’ once.”

    In last week’s blog I mentioned how even a blind squirrel can find a nut occasionally. It turns out that last week’s win was that rare nut find and we sadly reverted to what has been the norm this week as we fumbled about in the dark to produce one of the worst performances…