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“They don’t have any lager, so half a pint of rosé it is.”
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The phrase that football is a ‘funny old game’ doesn’t really ring true at the moment as I’ve had next to fuck all to laugh at watching Dorch this season. From pre-season optimism to a poor start, false dawns involving a step forward to be immediately followed by two steps back, to the somewhat…
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“ I like to sit down in front of Strictly and catch up the messages then. I fucking love Strictly.”
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Grief and emotional comedowns can do strange things to people — and affect their future. I’m not referring to the loss of a family member, or a night out at Motion in Bristol circa 2012, but rather the play-off final against Totton in the summer, which, quite frankly, was a shitshow of a performance…
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“Clarkie, put 1987 on. They’re about to do the FA Cup draw.”
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For the first time in 12 years, the August battle for my attention was won by playing cricket and not by the start of the football season. Keeping wicket in the Dorset League Division Two was how my Saturdays were spent, with my only Magpies games being a pair of somewhat underwhelming 3-1 defeats…
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“Spetchy would hate this sun when he’s up on a roof plastering”
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Having come home to Dorset for Easter (aka Frome away) I had given serious consideration to staying an extra week to take in Hungerford. After all, games of this magnitude have been few and far between for us Dorch supporters. Ultimately, a culmination of work, reoccurring PTSD from Bognor away in 2004 and the…
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“Their steward asked me if I was on the coach, I said no, he said can you go anyway.”
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On Tuesday September 30th in 2014 we lost 6-1 away at Cirencester Town in front of a whopping crowd of 75. This was our first season at this level following a relegation from the Conference South with a whimper, and you’d be forgiven for thinking this was as bad as it could get. Wrong.…
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“If you’re going to be as late getting to work tomorrow as you were for that challenge just now, don’t bother turning up.”
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In seasons gone by we’ve gone into the last game with our fate in our own hands. Next Saturday is another time when we’ll know what is required of us before kick-off, but for the first time in fuck knows how long, we’re looking at promotion and not relegation. If we do get into…